Our Best

Some days, I question the researchers who tell me my toddler can’t always hear me. Surely, with the volume I’m using and the fact that he looked right at me, he can hear me, right?

And sometimes the surge of overwhelm that comes when his emotions start to ramp up is because I desperately want him to remember the regulation tools we’ve been practicing. How can he not remember those when he gets upset?

But almost everyone who works with kids tells me he can’t do these things.

So maybe I should believe them.

Because what do I gain from believing my toddler can hear me and is choosing to ignore me? Or that my toddler is deliberately choosing not to use our coping skills?

I gain anger, annoyance, irritation and feelings of overwhelm.

Whereas if I believe he is doing the best he can, given his developmental stage, then I may still feel overwhelmed, but I also have empathy, compassion and more patience.

Perhaps this is fitting for more than just toddlers. Maybe we are all trying our best. As much as I may disagree with you on various levels, I gain more patience, compassion and empathy when I assume that those around me are doing the best they can.

So, as you interact with people around you throughout this week, may you approach them with the benefit of the doubt. Tough conversations may still need to be had, boundaries may still need to be held, but may all of this be done with the belief that we are all simply trying our best.