Often, the situations we encounter in life have a lens through which we view them. The meetings at work are a cause of immense stress. The conversations with friends after we’ve had a conflict with them can invoke anxiety. The repetitive house tasks that come again all too quickly are overwhelming and annoying.
These emotions are valid. They deserve a spot at our emotional table.
But sometimes these emotions are a lot. To the point where they are too much. We feel little else but these emotions and can’t seem to shake them.
A helpful thing to try when this happens is to broaden our emotional tables, to look at our situations from the flip side. That meeting at work is stressful, but maybe it is also exciting because you get to practice asserting yourself and your opinion. That conversation with your friend over a conflict you had does invoke anxiety, but there’s also gratitude there that they are willing to talk it out and work through it. Those repetitive household tasks, like dishes and laundry, are overwhelming and annoying, but there’s also a lot of love for the people in the house who contribute to these never-ending chores.
The goal of expanding our emotional tables and seeing the flip side isn’t to negate our initial emotions; it’s to stop them from running the show. All of a sudden, I’m no longer consumed by the stress of my work meeting. Stress is still there, but it’s a little quieter now because excitement is taking up space, and I get to practice a skill I’ve been wanting to get better at.
The emotions switch from holding us to us being able to hold them. The complexity of added emotions doesn’t make the situation more overwhelming; it helps us see the situation more clearly and fully.
So, if you find yourself consumed by a particular emotion about a situation, I encourage you to take a few deep breaths, step back, and see the situation from a broader perspective. Your initial emotion is certainly still there, but are you now able to see other emotions waiting for you to name them and give them space, too?
Warmly,
Kylie Larson, MA, LPC
More resources…
Find Kylie’s reading commendations by clicking here.
