I came across a post on Kristen Neff’s Instagram page that said a real treasure offered by mindfulness is that it allows us to respond versus only reacting.
Immediately interactions with my toddler played through my head. I could notice a distinct difference between the times I reacted versus when I responded. And rarely was I happy when I replayed the instances when I reacted. I was shorter, louder, less in control, and harsher.
Whereas when I would pause in response to my toddler, and take a deep breath, I still held boundaries. But, I was calmer, more controlled, held his emotions better, and the situation mitigated much quicker.
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
(Proverbs 15:1)
Emotions can take us by surprise sometimes. Anger goes from a simmer to a consuming boil and begs release. Defeat turns to bitterness and we snap. Whatever emotions it may be, our actions occur before we realize what we have done. And rarely do we look back and are proud of how we reacted.
“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
(James 1:19-20)
But, with mindfulness, there is another way. We can feel the surge of anger and pause, take a breath, notice it non-judgmentally, allow it space to be, and then respond in a more controlled way.
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”
(Galatians 5:22-23)
So choose the pause. Take a moment to sit with what is coming for you, breathe, and then respond. And enjoy the ensuing treasure that comes from choosing to respond versus react.
“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.”
(Philippians 4:5)
Warmly,
Kylie Larson, MA, LPC
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