Throughout the past several weeks I have found myself answering the same question repeatedly.
“What happened, mama?”
I have a toddler with a keen sense of attunement and deep curiosity, and so many, many times a day I’m asked this question.
Sometimes, toward the end of the day, I get overwhelmed with answering this question over and over again. But I realized, wouldn’t it be nice if all of us asked this more often?
Amid a contentious presidential transition, politics is an unavoidable topic. And rarely do I see it discussed without tense, fighting language which leads to defensive rebuttals, and the cycle just keeps going and going.
But, what if we were more driven to ask “what happened” or “why” with the genuine curiosity my son asks me multiple times a day?
What if we took accusations and assumptions and traded those out for authentic wonder and compassionate curiosity?
Even beyond politics, when inevitable interpersonal conflict arises with friends, family, co-workers, or just out and about in daily life, I encourage you to try and resist defensiveness and accusations and instead lean into “what happened?”
Through the overwhelm of answering the same question all day, I remind myself my son is showing me the peace and contentment that can come when we are genuinely curious and stay attuned to hearing an explanation. More often than not, the explanation helps remind me of the words of Harry Sullivan, a psychologist, when he said we are much more simply human than otherwise.
Warmly,
Kylie Larson, MA, LPC
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